


Demo Mode

by inatshej



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attraction, Betaed, Bisexual Stiles Stilinski, Blood, Blood Magic, Break Up, Cultural References, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Derek Hale's Loft, Derek Hale's Past Consent Issues with Kate Argent, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski are Soulmates, Drama & Romance, Endgame Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Friends to Lovers, Insecure Stiles Stilinski, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Magic, Mentioned Jennifer Blake, Mentioned Kate Argent, Mentioned Paige, Minor Allison Argent/Lydia Martin, Minor Allison Argent/Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore, Minor Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Minor Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore, Minor Scott McCall/Kira Yukimura, Monster of the Week, No Sex, No Smut, One-Sided Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski, POV Stiles Stilinski, Past Derek Hale/Paige, Past Kate Argent/Derek Hale, Polyamory, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Scott is a Good Friend, Sexuality Crisis, Some Humor, Swearing, Tags Are Fun, Teen Romance, Teenage Drama, Texting, Underage Drinking, Valentine's Day Fic Exchange, Video & Computer Games, Warning: Jennifer Blake, Werewolf Derek, Witch Jennifer Blake, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000, Wordcount: Under 10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 05:10:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17781173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inatshej/pseuds/inatshej
Summary: In the world where people have soulmates, Stiles is set on never being with his. After all, he's not gay. But when his relationship of choice doesn't work because Lydia decides to come back to her soulmate, Stiles finds himself growing closer to Derek.Too bad Derek finds another soulmate.





	Demo Mode

**Author's Note:**

  * For [S3anchaidh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/S3anchaidh/gifts).



> For [Ash](http://seanchaidh7.tumblr.com) :) Happy St. Valentines! I chose this prompt:  
> Out of the corner of your eye you can see a blurry image of what your soulmate is doing.
> 
> Warnings for swearing, underage drinking, mentions of blood and murder and internalized homophobia. Begins with Stiles/Lydia, ends with Stiles/Derek. 
> 
> Special thanks to Delightful_I_Am, ashleymoshow, T-mo, and You Know Who for great beta work!  
> Vaguely inspired by [Safety in Silence](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1279837/chapters/2649097) by [Survivah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Survivah/pseuds/Survivah).

''Scott, I'm dating,'' says Stiles, his mouth already quirking into a smile, imagining his friend's reaction.

''Dude! That's great! Oh my god, I'm so happy you finally did it!'' gushes Scott. ''Man, I need to call Derek now.''

Stiles frowns but keeps smiling. ''Derek?''

''Um, yeah? Because...'' Scott trails off, then suddenly asks, ''Danny?''

Stiles stops walking around his room and rearranges his hold on his phone. ''What about Danny?''

''Uh, nothing,'' says Scott quickly. There is a pause and Stiles shifts his weight. That's not how he imagined their conversation.

''Scott, I'm in a _relationship_ ,'' he says. He can't believe he hasn't yet said with whom and Scott hasn't asked.

''Right,'' says Scott. Then, after a beat, ''With?''

''With _Lydia_.''

''Oh,'' says Scott finally. ''Lydia. That's awesome.''

Stiles starts walking again. ''Well, yeah, Lydia,'' he says. ''I've wanted to be with her for years,'' he reminds Scott.

''Yeah, that is-'' Stiles can just imagine Scott nodding, ''very- yeah. Awesome,'' he repeats.

Stiles looks at his phone in disbelief. ''I- is this a bad moment or what?''

''No, no, it's fine,'' replies Scott. ''So, you and Lydia, huh? Who'd have thought.''

''Uh, _me_?'' says Stiles. ''I've definitely thought about it.'' He pauses for a second, then asks, ''What's wrong, Scott?''

''Nothing,'' says Scott sadly. ''Congratulations.''

He hangs up.

Fuck Scott. Stiles would rather have Lydia as his soulmate too.

***

There are three rules about soulmates.

First, your soulmate is not your 'other half'. You can have many soulmates during your life, as well as you may have just one or even none at all.

Second, your soulmate does not have to be your romantic partner – even if most of the time, they are.

Third, your soulmate does not have to be your sexual partner – even if usually, that's how it is.

Yeah, soulmates mean jack shit. Of course, by definition, a soulmate is supposed to be your 'guidance in life', you're supposed to 'help each other' and have a 'relationship that will influence you the most'.

_Bullshit._

But that's not all. There are thousands of ways in which soulmates could go wrong. Recognizing your soulmate when you're already in a relationship with someone else – not your soulmate, or recognizing your soulmate when you're already in a relationship with your other soulmate, or being convinced you don't have a soulmate and building your life around it just to recognize someone as yours. Not to mention the whole shitdom of half-bonds, where one person recognizes the other as their soulmate but it's unrequited.

Really, Stiles is so lucky to have Derek as his soulmate – neither expects anything out of it.

Of course, he wasn't happy about the bond at first.

Wrong. Stiles still isn't happy about it but he got used to it. At the end of the day, who cares about their _connection_ if neither of them does?

***

When his visions started, Stiles was sitting in a math class, watching the equations on the blackboard mindlessly. He realized something was moving on the edge of his vision and he drew in his eyebrows, trying to focus on it ineffectively. He blinked rapidly, wanting to clear his eyes but the image only got more apparent.

It was someone working out. Stiles froze in his seat, finally realizing it was the first vision of his soulmate. He kept trying to catch the details, excited to learn about the other person, but growing frustrated when he couldn't fully concentrate on the image. Still, he could discern dark hair, muscles. He could see it was a _guy_.

The pen Stiles was holding in his hand broke in half, leaving his skin dirty. ''Fuck,'' he croaked, feeling sick.

***

''We went to that French restaurant yesterday, the one Lydia wanted to try.''

Scott looks away, his face suspiciously blank.

Stiles ignores it and pushes on. ''Their menu was in French and I was so glad I learned a bit of French last week for it, except it turns out they speak English fine. I felt like such an idiot,'' he says and laughs.

''Yeah,'' mutters Scott, not looking at him.

Stiles gives up. There's no use trying to steer Scott's attention somewhere else. ''What,'' he says with no intonation. ''What is it?''

Scott looks at him. ''Stiles, Lydia isn't serious about you.''

''I know that,'' says Stiles. He can't bear Scott's gaze. ''It doesn't mean-''

''She's with you just because of Jackson, she wants him to get jealous to come back to her because he's her _soulmate_ and-''

''I _know_ that,'' repeats Stiles forcefully, tightening his lips. ''You don't understand – Lydia is giving me a chance. I can show her that I could be a good boyfriend, better than Jackson, I could-''

''Stiles,'' says Scott and he sounds so sad Stiles shuts up. ''She'll go back to Jackson.''

Scott still has this childish belief that your soulmate automatically means your spouse until death do you part. It does seem to work for him and Allison but it doesn't for, well, humankind in general.

''You can't be sure of it,'' shoots Stiles. ''I can still try to-''

''But why won't you try with Derek?''

Stiles freezes. This is the first time Scott mentions Derek and Stiles is so stunned with the questions he stops thinking altogether. ''Derek has nothing to do with this.''

As if called, Stiles can see Derek on the edge of his vision. He's – jogging, or training, who knows what kind of shit he does in his free time.

Not Stiles.

And why does Stiles have to learn about his soulmate in this way? Why does Derek always appear with his – _everything_ and-

Stiles closes his eyes.

''Don't tell me you still get visions of him,'' says Scott, incredulous.

Stiles doesn't reply and opens his eyes, trying to ignore Derek.

''Stiles!'' calls Scott. ''That means you have to spend more time with him, that's-''

''I don't have to do _anything_ ,'' says Stiles and immediately feels like a child. ''He knows what's going on, okay? I talked to him.''

''Well, clearly your bond doesn't agree with it,'' says Scott, exasperated.

''Well clearly this bond _sucks_.''

He hates Scott's sad face.

***

''Hey.''

Derek doesn't reply but then again, he doesn't seem like someone who'd utter socially acceptable greetings. Stiles has only ever heard him saying stuff like 'I was shot', 'I'm the alpha', and 'I'm gonna kill both of you'.

''Well, there's no good way to ask about it so...'' Stiles wills himself to take a breath and says, ''Look, am I your soulmate?''

Again, there's no answer. Derek stares at him, completely unreadable, and Stiles wonders what has to happen to someone to perfect this defense mechanism.

''I'll take this as a 'yes', even though, you know, it's kind of a big assumption here,'' says Stiles, starting to pace around the room. Derek owns a loft so at the very least he has a lot of space to freak out in. ''But I mean, what even are soulmates about, right?'' He glances at Derek and suddenly remembers the guy has a tattoo on his back, between his shoulder blades. Triskele. For some reason, he can't stop thinking about it.

Stiles looks away. ''Anyway, we don't have to be like, together,'' he cringes but risks a glance at Derek again, ''right?''

''Yes.''

Derek agrees so quickly and with such relief that it makes Stiles stop in place. ''Wow, you don't have to sound so happy about it,'' he mutters, ''I mean, at least add 'no offence' or something.''

Derek doesn't add anything.

''Right,'' says Stiles. He feels out of place, young and inexperienced, and completely out of Derek's league. He touches the back of his neck, suddenly ashamed of the way he looks, angry at this _joke_ about him being soulmates with Derek. Excluding all the other stuff, like age and freaking _species_ difference, why would the universe even suggest the possibility of them being together? It's ridiculous.

''I'll just, get out of your hair then,'' he mumbles, not looking at Derek.

Derek doesn't stop him.

***

''Nothing,'' repeats Stiles, because nothing has happened. Then, he says, ''Lydia talked to Jackson.''

''Again?'' asks Scott.

Stiles has no strength to even look at him flatly because _again_ is the fucking point here. The silence stretches between them as Scott tries to figure out the right thing to say.

''Stiles,'' he starts tentatively, ''if you could just give Derek one chance-''

''Derek doesn't want it.''

Stiles' jaw tenses as he waits for Scott's surprise, disbelief, then pity. He doesn't want to see it. Scott's possible reactions have been stopping him all this time from talking about the issue and he kept ignoring it, but now he's had enough. He wants to be left in peace.

Perhaps it's better to just flat-out state that it'll never happen.

''Why?'' asks Scott, earnestly confused.

Stiles shrugs. It's painful to keep Scott' gaze. ''He doesn't want it.''

''But why would he-''

''I don't know, Scott!'' Stiles bursts out. ''Have you seen Derek? Maybe _that's_ why.''

Scott narrows his eyes. ''Is that what he said?''

''No, he-'' Stiles catches himself, then sighs. ''It doesn't matter. He doesn't want anything out of this bond and neither do I. Okay?''

And here comes Scott's pity. Stiles regrets the topic ever surfacing.

***

During the next pack meeting, Scott alternates between glaring at Derek and Lydia, who chose to sit next to Jackson as they were talking beforehand.

Stiles doesn't meet anyone's gaze. It's okay. Lydia chose to be with him and she can choose to do whatever she wants, she can interact with anyone she likes. Stiles won't ever hold her back. If he's jealous, bitter, or just uncertain of their relationship that's always on him. Besides, Scott says that soulmates can fight and disagree too, it's normal in all relationships.

Now that Stiles thinks about it, Scott sounded like he was assuring himself but, well. It's Scott and Allison. They will figure it out. They are soulmates.

There's a problem with harpies so Stiles borrows some books from Derek to read up on them. It's not depressing that Derek still won't even talk to him, just nods as Stiles chooses the tomes, but it doesn't help either.

***

Jackson got hurt – and so did Scott, Derek, and Stiles, though their wounds are lighter – and Lydia won't leave his side.

Stiles watches them together, feeling numb. Harpies are taken care of and there's nothing he can do anymore. Allison is helping Scott and he is still just standing on the side in his dirty clothes.

He notices Derek leaving. He must be going to his loft.

Seriously, what does this guy actually do with his time? Train and fight the monsters, and? There must be something else.

Right?

Stiles sharply lets out his breath and goes to his car. The fuck is he thinking about?

***

''I'm so sorry.''

Stiles twists his mouth, angry. ''Was it Scott?'' he asks. ''What did he tell you?''

''Nothing,'' replies Lydia and looks at him. ''He didn't say anything, Stiles. You know that I only started dating you because Jackson – you know how he is. He said something like 'we're soulmates, you can't date someone else', so I did just that.'' She sighs. ''But it was wrong of me to choose you. I should have never used your feelings to-''

''No, Lyds, don't apologize for that,'' says Stiles immediately, all his anger evaporating. ''You told me what this was about. It didn't matter to me. It still doesn't.'' He catches her gaze. ''I still want to be with you. Just, let me help you. Let me make it all easier for you.'' Lydia doesn't react, so Stiles adds, '' And hey, if I can make Jackson mad, all the better.''

Lydia doesn't smile. That's a bad sign, the sign that whatever is going on with Jackson is actually serious.

''Just give me some more time- or rather, give Jackson more time to regret ever letting you go? Please? I'll be the best boyfriend you can imagine. Totally. Or for 95%.'' Stiles scrunches his face, hoping to amuse her at least. ''You know, partly. Maybe?''

Lydia smiles at him and although the expression is unwilling, Stiles will take it. Of course he will take it. It's Lydia.

***

It's a nice break-up. It really is. They talk a lot, apologize, hug, decide to stay friends.

Stiles fucking hates it.

***

He comes back home. There's nothing he can focus on, catching himself rereading the same paragraph, walking around purposelessly, listlessly drumming his fingers against the counter.

Finally, his eyes fall on the books on harpies.

***

''Hey,'' says Stiles, ''just giving back the books. Thanks.''

Derek nods and wordlessly opens the door to let him in.

Stiles puts down the tomes and finds himself thinking back to the time he talked to Derek about their soulmate bond. It was right after the day they met Derek for the first time and the night Scott got bitten. Stiles was so set on not feeling anything but God, he didn't expect Derek to be this good looking. It feels like so much time has passed, yet it was just a few months.

During that time, Stiles dated Lydia.

Stiles brushes his fingers against the books. He shouldn't have come here. Not right after Lydia broke up with him. He feels directionless, left adrift without anything grounding him but how can Derek possibly help? Why would he even care?

''Stiles.''

He jerks. ''What?''

Derek looks at him oddly. ''Are you okay?''

''Yeah, yeah, I'm. Fine.''

He really should leave.

Stiles ignores the thought and takes a few steps towards the sofa. He sits down and tilts his head back, closing his eyes. ''You still have those visions?''

 _This is such a bad idea_.

''Yes,'' replies Derek finally. Then, after a too-long pause, asks, ''You?''

''Yeah, it's so fucking annoying.'' Stiles sighs, scrubbing his face. ''Can't focus on anything.''

So quietly Stiles thinks he imagines it at first, Derek says, ''There are things to do about it.''

Stiles lets out a strained laugh. ''Oh, dude, don't worry. I know your stance on this soulmate bond. And now is really...'' he trails off, giving up on trying to find any fitting words.

Derek nods. ''Lydia.''

''Yeah,'' says Stiles, putting his hands inside his pockets, then immediately taking them out. ''She broke up with me.''

Derek stares at him. ''Why?''

''Why?'' Stiles echoes bitterly and opens his eyes, straightening. He raises his arms wide and lets them fall down in an exaggerated manner. ''Because she's in love with Jackson and no matter what I did, it didn't change? Have you even seen them together? She's completely different.''

Derek sits down and stares at the floor.

Stiles almost cracks a smile at his expression. ''Sorry. I know talking about this is not really your thing.''

Derek shakes his head, not raising his eyes. ''It's okay.''

''Well, I really hope it is okay because I felt trapped at home and Scott will say 'I told you' sooner or later, and I'm not ready for that.''

Derek raises his head and regards him carefully.

''It's always been Lydia, you know?'' starts Stiles, looking away. ''Even when Jackson turned out to be her soulmate, even when they started dating, it didn't mean Lydia wouldn't want me if only she knew me. But now-'' Stiles lets out his breath harshly. ''I really was the best boyfriend I could be for her and it still just didn't work out.''

Stiles is pulled from his thoughts only when Derek clears his throat after a while, awkward. ''You want to get drunk?''

His serious face startles laugh out of Stiles. ''Dude, I'm 17.''

Derek shrugs. ''My reputation can't get much worse.''

Stiles tries to smile. ''Yeah, let's not risk that,'' he says.

Now that he thinks of it, Derek's situation does put his own problems into perspective.

''Clubbing?''

''Wow,'' says Stiles, shaking his head, ''you're serious about this, huh?''

Derek scowls at him and Stiles grins weakly.

He thinks back to his outings to the Jungle and remembers two guys kissing, grinding against each other to the rhythm of the music. Caitlin saying she likes boys and girls, _absolutely_ , and asking about Stiles.

He feels a sudden knot of anxiety low in his stomach and shakes his head. ''No. No.'' He sighs, messing his hair. ''I need to de-brain myself. Do you have any games where the purpose is strictly to kill stuff?''

After a while, Derek brings out Duck Hunt, a video game about shooting ducks.

It's fucking hilarious. Stiles loses it every time he sees shot ducks' facial expressions. ''Where did you get this?'' he asks, grinning widely.

Derek regards him for a second. ''I played it in my childhood.''

''Oh, shit. Sorry. I don't want to intrude on-''

''You didn't,'' Derek interrupts him. ''I- there's no one I can play those games with.''

''Wait,'' Stiles straightens, his eyes widening, ''you have more games like this one?''

***

''The soulmate bond means nothing,'' Scott states vehemently and swigs his bottle of beer, trying to hide his tears. ''I thought it was getting better. We were still fighting but not that much and we're _soulmates_ , it should mean more than that.''

Stiles nods, although he doesn't agree with Scott. But now it doesn't matter. Allison has just broken up with Scott, announcing that they're done in the middle of an argument and leaving, then sending a text the next day to actually confirm it.

'' _I hope that someday you can feel as relieved and free as I do now_ ,'' reads Scott again and shoves his phone at Stiles' face. Again.

''I know, I know,'' says Stiles, trying to not touch the screen with his nose.

''You were right all this time,'' continues Scott miserably. ''Your bond to Derek is nothing. Lydia went back to Jackson? Good! Let her _suffer_ with him.''

Stiles can only stare.

''And who said that staying with your first and only soulmate is romantic? That's just bullshit.''

Stiles has no idea how to respond because those are all his words. He'd never thought Scott was actually listening to him when he said them. The difference between them, however, is that Stiles still believes in all of this but Scott doesn't, not really.

Even if Stiles' parents were the romantic kind. They only had one soulmate, they only had each other. They got married and stayed together until the death of his mom.

''Right?''

''Yeah,'' manages Stiles and they drink again.

Alcohol is awful. Stiles doesn't know why he thought Derek's suggestion was worth following in this case. Scott can't even get drunk but continues to try, oddly set on the task. Stiles thinks he should search for some spells on making the werewolves drunk.

Now that's a thought.

***

Stiles tightens his grip on the metal rod. He took it last month when they were hunting a ghost in an abandoned factory and only realized he still had it when he was already back in the car.

Now, he swings the rod at the vampire's head and the vampire falls down. Just as the body hits the ground, there's an arrow in its heart. Stiles sees Scott looking at Allison, his face expressionless.

Immediately, however, another vampire attacks Stiles and he fends it off until Derek slashes its throat.

That's it. That's the end. They don't even bother with the bodies as the sun will disintegrate them soon enough. Stiles watches Lydia talking to Allison, then the two of them walking with Jackson to his car. He tries to not feel anything about the fact that she didn't even glance at him.

''Scott, you want to play Baldur's Gate?''

Scott hates fantasy-themed video games.

''Sure,'' he says, his face blank.

''That okay?'' asks Stiles, turning to Derek.

''Yeah.''

Stiles wonders briefly if Derek's as relieved as he is with the decline of the visions after they started to spend some time together, and if the agreement for Scott's presence is the expression of it.

Hopefully yes, because Scott criticizes everything about the game.

''Bhaalspawn,'' reads Scott. ''Seriously? There is the Lord of Murder, his name is Bhaal, and his children are all called 'Bhaalspawn'?''

Stiles nods. ''It makes them sound like the fish.''

''Yeah, the fish of the Lord of Murd-''

Scott stops talking so Stiles looks at him with a frown.

''Oh shit,'' says Scott weakly, staring ahead, his gaze unseeing. ''Oh fuck.''

''Scott, what's wrong?''

Derek pauses the game and looks at Scott as well.

Scott opens his mouth, then closes it. ''I think I have a soulmate.''

''What?'' Stiles blurts out. ''Who is it?''

''If it's his first vision he doesn't know them,'' says Derek sensibly.

''But – what, who are you seeing?''

Scott shrugs, his eyes wide open. ''It's a girl, about our age. Long hair.''

Stiles nods frantically, waiting for more details. Scott must feel the difference and it shouldn't be Allison, not so soon after the-

''Oh,'' adds Scott. ''She's Asian.''

''Scott, that's great,'' says Stiles, trying to smile. ''You have a soulmate.''

Scott nods. ''Another one,'' he says.

Stiles tries to not react. ''She may be just what you need after Allison.''

Scott doesn't answer.

Stiles bites his lip, searching for something to say. ''Wow. I wonder when you'll meet her?''

''Probably sometime next week,'' replies Derek. They look at him and he shrugs. ''I've read up on soulmates.''

''That's awesome,'' says Stiles, nodding. ''Awesome.''

He doesn't think about Derek thinking about soulmates.

***

Kira is a transfer student. She is impossibly sweet and conveniently, knows about the supernatural.

''I think you should try with her.''

Scott finishes writing his message, then puts down the phone and looks at Stiles. ''Yeah, I know.''

Stiles is so surprised with his acquiescence that he has no time to prepare for what's coming next.

''And I think you should try with Derek.''

''What-'' Stiles stares at him, not daring to move an inch, ''why- Derek?''

Scott looks at him.

''It's not like that,'' says Stiles, shaking his head. ''We're friends. We're just friends.'' He bites his lip. ''I don't even get the visions anymore. So, you know. It's fine.''

''So being friends is all you can imagine with Derek?''

Stiles flushes and wrenches his hands nervously, avoiding Scott's gaze. ''It doesn't matter. Lydia's my friend now, and I think of _her_ that way, and Derek's just – anyone would, you know?'' Stiles babbles. ''It doesn't mean anything.''

''About Lydia – I so told you, man.''

Stiles glares at him, already plotting to get Scott embarrassingly drunk with the special kind of wolfsbane he found.

''And as for Derek,'' starts Scott. ''...so you do think about him. _That way_.''

Stiles feels like his skin is stretched too thin. ''What are you – what are we even talking about? I'm _straight_ ,'' he says, looking anywhere but at Scott.

Scott doesn't answer.

''Hetero- heteroflexible,'' tries Stiles.

Scott keeps watching him.

''I'm not going a step further than – than bicurious. Okay?''

''It's _your_ identity, Stiles.''

''Yeah. Yeah. Sure,'' says Stiles, tugging on his hair. ''Oh, Jesus, stop looking at me. Go back to your phone. _Ignore me_ , forget I'm here.''

Scott smiles and takes out his phone.

***

''Oh my god,'' breathes Stiles, leading the Prince of Persia through something that is supposed to look like a Middle Eastern-style dungeon. ''There's a magic carpet?''

''And a crystal ball and magical potions.''

''Awesome.'' He shifts in his seat, finding a more comfortable position. He doesn't know when was the last time he's felt this relaxed.

The background music starts and Stiles winces. ''Wow, but they didn't even try with the sound, huh?''

Derek glances at him and smiles. It's enough for Stiles to focus on him instead of the game. For the thousandth time, he finds himself overwhelmed by how simply beautiful Derek is. Stiles wonders how would Derek's cheek feel under his palm, how warm his skin would be.

''Can I touch your beard?''

Derek stiffens, then turns to Stiles with his lips parted. It's only then that Stiles understands what he said.

 _Oh, Jesus_. It's a – quirk. There are things he doesn't plan on ever saying that end up out there. It happens to him.

Derek keeps looking at him.

 _Fuck_. He can't believe he's risked their friendship without even really thinking about it.

Stiles opens his mouth to backtrack, apologize, beg Derek to forget he's ever heard anything but Derek swallows and says, ''If I can touch yours.''

Stiles stares. His face feels like it's on fire. The moment lasts too long to turn it into a joke, even if Derek left that as a possibility.

He turns to the side, laughing awkwardly, and shoves Derek for a good measure. ''You're an asshole,'' says Stiles. Yes, too much time has passed to treat it as just a joke but what else can he do?

His heart is beating like crazy.

***

The next few days, they are busy. Lydia gets kidnapped, Jackson gets nearly killed, and Allison says the three of them are in some kind of a polyamory relationship. She has two soulmates, Scott and Lydia, but Lydia has only one, Jackson.

See? Soulmates mean problems.

Still, before Stiles falls asleep and in the moments he leaves his mind unoccupied, his thoughts drift to Derek. Admittedly, 'can I touch your beard' is not the best come-on Stiles can think of. In his defense, he didn't think it was a come-on at the time.

**Derek: I have a game I used to hate.**

Stiles breathes out, relieved that Derek pretends nothing happened. After a while, he realizes he's smiling at the text message, stupidly pleased that Derek thought of him.

He starts to hope. Scott believed that they could have something, didn't he? So even if he can't believe it himself, Stiles will believe in Scott being right.

***

Stiles can only come to Derek's loft three days later but when he does, Derek opens the door smiling like it's fucking Christmas. It's the first time Stiles has seen Derek this happy and he's so stunned he can't react at first.

''Uh, you okay?'' he manages finally.

If anything, Derek's smile seems to grow.

Stiles frowns. ''Did something happen?''

Derek's expression turns shy and sweet, his eyes flicking down. ''I have a soulmate.''

For a second, Stiles can't control his expression, too many thoughts in his head. He doesn't know what Derek would see if he looked up but it doesn't matter. Derek never even glances at him.

 _What a load of bullshit_. Stiles is Derek's soulmate. Stiles was the first one to ask Derek about it and-

Scott was wrong.

''Oh,'' Stiles manages. ''Another one.''

He almost cringes at the words himself but Derek doesn't seem to notice and nods.

''Who, uh, do you know who is it?''

''Jennifer Blake.''

Stiles didn't know Derek could say anyone's name this warmly. ''That's the new English teacher,'' he says stupidly.

Derek nods. ''Yeah, I know,'' he says with affection, then suddenly looks at Stiles, a bit startled, as if only now realizing he's talking with him. ''You want to come in?''

They walk inside and Derek asks, ''So, do you need something?''

Stiles has a sudden urge to just leave. ''You texted me that you have a game,'' he says, feeling lame.

Derek frowns, leaning on the doorframe. ''Did I?''

''You know, the game you hated in the past?''

''Yeah?''

Stiles stares at the polite interest on Derek's face, then abruptly turns. ''You know what, nevermind,'' he says, walking back to the entrance. ''Maybe another time.''

Derek straightens, relieved. ''Okay.''

That's – not what Stiles expected. He looks away. ''Right.'' He swallows, thinking about Derek's beaming smile. ''And, you know. Hope you hit it off with her.''

The words feel so fake he almost winces.

Derek smiles again, obviously back to Jennifer headspace. ''Thanks.''

***

''It's a fucking epidemic,'' says Stiles. ''First Allison's half-bond, then you and Kira, now Derek. Think I should check if magic is mixed in this? You know, just in case?''

Scott doesn't answer.

''And the way he smiled, Jesus. You haven't seen a beaming smile until you saw Derek's. It was like the full-blown sun showing after a blizzard or something.''

Scott takes pity on him. ''You want to play Super Mario Bros. 3?''

Stiles draws in his eyebrows. ''You don't really like Mario.''

Scott plugs in the gamepad.

Stiles dies after five minutes, too immersed in his thoughts to focus. He watches the Game Over screen mindlessly and finds himself saying, ''I thought I had time. That there was no need to hurry.''

Scott starts the game again.

''Derek's been behaving oddly, though. During the last meeting he kept losing his train of thought and I swear he's been wondering a few times what was he doing there.''

''To be fair, I remember how I behaved when I met Allison,'' Scott speaks up.

Stiles nods and licks his lips. ''Yeah. It's a good thing. I mean, he seems stupidly happy. He shouldn't have to hold onto hope that-'' he stops himself before his voice can crack.

On the screen, Mario dies again.

''I just, I thought there was something,'' starts Stiles, watching it indifferently. ''I thought he'd wait.''

***

When Lydia agrees with Stiles about the disruptions in magic, they call the pack. By then, however, Jennifer Blake has already started a ritual to resurrect her soulmate, the only one she ever had. For that, she needed to sacrifice Derek.

Jennifer Blake was a witch.

 _Was_ , thinks Stiles, staring at the blood. No one planned to kill her. The wounds were too grave.

***

The next weeks, he goes to school, sleeps, and spends the rest of the time with Scott. If Scott meets with Kira, Stiles talks with Lydia. All that leaves surprisingly much time for Prince of Persia. Stiles has already finished The Shadow and the Flame and now decides to play the Warrior Within, when he receives a text.

**Derek: I have the game I used to hate.**

Stiles stares at the text, then goes to the loft without hurry. What else can he do?

Because no, he can't just ignore it, because it's _Derek_ and-

_Shut up, shut up, shut up._

They barely say anything before setting up the game, then utter profanity with each passing minute. Line Rider is unbelievably frustrating. After 15 minutes of nothing but cursing the game, Stiles decides to break the unspoken rule. ''What was your favorite game as a child?''

He changes the game to Canvas Rider. If Derek takes the question badly, as Stiles wanting to learn more about him even though he's already denied himself that possibility long ago, Stiles can always say 'nevermind, it's enough that it's not Line Rider. And you should hate this one, too'. It will still fit, although badly, in the narrow space of the conversations they have now.

However, after a moment, Derek says, ''Snake.''

Stiles turns to him, incredulous. ''Snake? That dumb old mobile game?''

''Yeah.''

Stiles bites back a grin. _Snake_.

He honestly didn't expect any response from Derek so when he notices a small smile on his face, it pushes him further. ''I'm sorry about what happened,'' he blurts out.

Derek doesn't react.

Stiles glances at him. ''The soulmates thing is such bullshit. I mean, with everything, but half-bonds are horrible. Allison managed to work it out with Lydia and Jackson but you, you didn't even get a chance and it's just-''

''I don't know what you're talking about,'' Derek interrupts him, his eyes never leaving the game. ''Before I met you, I've never had a soulmate. I thought I was one of those people.''

Stiles realizes he's staring at Derek and looks away. ''Oh. Uh. I meant with Bla-''

''Blake wasn't my soulmate,'' says Derek, his lips curling. ''She was a witch. She used _magic_.'' He huffs out, looking to the side, then at him. ''What did you think it was, Stiles?''

On the screen, Stiles' rider has just suffered mortal injury. He presses Enter to start the new game using too much force. ''You seemed happy.''

''It wasn't me,'' says Derek lowly. Then, he adds, ''I only have one soulmate.''

Stiles bites his lower lip and nods. He starts Free Rider just to have something to occupy him, just to have an excuse to not look at Derek. ''Sucks,'' he offers.

''It doesn't.''

 _This fucking game._ Stiles couldn't care less about his rider's health and life. ''Oh, come on,'' he says, nervously trying to smile. ''I know how happy your soulmate could make you. I've already seen-''

'' _It wasn't me_ ,'' says Derek. He looks at Stiles, incredulous, then turns away. ''I'd rather have all this here. At least it's real.'' He grimaces. ''Yes, it's not perfect but I can be _sure_ of it.''

Stiles licks his lips. ''But you'd like something else.''

Derek doesn't answer.

''I think we could... try,'' Stiles finds himself saying. ''I know I'm not your first choice but like... yeah. Like a demo mode?'' He makes sure to not look at Derek, his cheeks flushed. ''We can try to see how it goes, what we can do, how it feels. And anyway, I've already been through the worst case scenario, so.'' He lets out a self-deprecating laugh. ''You know, with Lydia. Since she broke up-''

''Yeah,'' Derek interrupts him. He doesn't even smile. ''I know.''

''Right.'' Stiles keeps staring at the screen. His rider has suffered another horrible death. ''Just, just thought I'd put it out there,'' he finishes lamely.

Derek doesn't say anything for a while, then repeats, ''Worst case scenario.''

''Well, yeah, I mean, obviously it turned out it wasn't that bad that we broke up,'' says Stiles. He's never felt this awkward and nervous. ''Rather, best case, really. We're friends now and all. But at the time, you know. Worst case scenario. That's why I said it now even though it's not the worst, it was, you know, it was like a mental shortcut,'' he babbles.

''So worst case scenario is that we break up and are still friends?''

Stiles wishes his blush would just disappear. ''I mean, yeah. That's pretty good, right?''

''Yes.''

Stiles finally risks a glance to the side. As always, Derek's expression is completely impenetrable.

''Are we talking about what I think we're talking about?'' he asks, completely abandoning any pretense of still playing. ''Because you're not saying anything and it's starting to really freak me out.''

Derek looks at him, then away. ''Werewolves can smell... we can recognize the attraction,'' he starts, his voice oddly gentle. ''I think you should go to this club. Jungle. Or ask this friend of yours, Danny?''

Stiles stares at him. ''What?''

Derek won't meet his eyes. ''Because that's not how it is for me.''

Slowly, the realization sinks in. ''Oh.'' Stiles feels his stomach drop cold, all his insecurities coming back with full force.

''I'm sorry.''

Stiles shakes his head, looking somewhere else. ''Not your fault,'' he says mechanically. ''Can't do anything about the way I... look.'' He tries to laugh awkwardly. ''It's either there or it just... isn't.'' Stiles makes an odd gesture. It doesn't help.

The silence stretches between them. Stiles doesn't know what he's still doing here. In his mind, he's already back in his house, reliving the conversation again just to torment himself.

Derek clears his throat. ''...the way you look?''

''What?'' says Stiles again, jerked from his thoughts.

''What does it have to do with the way you look?''

Stiles stares at him, then stands up. He starts pacing around the loft, an outlet for his nervous energy. ''Dude, you've just told me-'' Stiles stops himself, bites his lower lip. ''I could swear that you've just said that you know I'm attracted to you, but you're not attracted to me.'' He pushes his hands inside his pockets, then immediately takes them out to mess his hair. ''What the fuck, Derek?''

Derek stares at him, immovable from his spot on the floor in front of the computer screen. ''You said you wanted to touch my beard.''

''Oh my God!'' Stiles hides his face in his hands, stopping in place. Now, even his neck feels hot. ''I just blurted it out without thinking!'' He shoots a glare at Derek, starts pacing again. ''But yeah, fine. I'm bi. I- yeah, I thought about that. A lot.''

Derek watches him, his lips parted. ''I meant that I don't want it to be just your,'' he pauses, searching for the word, ''confusion. You figuring yourself out.''

''Well, it- it's not.''

Stiles rubs the back of his neck and sits back down next to Derek again. Slowly, Derek reaches for his hand and puts it on his cheek. He nuzzles closer to the inside of Stiles' palm, breathes in the scent of his wrist. ''You'd like to try being with me?'' he asks quietly.

Stiles doesn't trust his voice. He nods.

Derek keeps his hand in place and looks up at him. ''I want to take it slow. I _need_ to be slow.''

Stiles nods, remembering Kate's wandering hands. ''That's- I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know how this even – works. Like. Two guys, that's just – you know. I don't mind waiting.''

''I don't want to ask that of you.''

Stiles shrugs and looks away. ''I didn't want to ask that of you, so.''

Derek kisses the inside of his palm and lowers it, keeping it clasped between both of his hands.

Stiles watches it, then looks up at Derek, drawing in his eyebrows. ''Why now? What's changed?''

''You didn't want to,'' replies Derek. ''You were 16.''

''Yeah,'' says Stiles. ''And now I'm 17.''

Something odd flickers through Derek's face.

''Huh. So it was the age thing?''

Derek grimaces. ''It _is_ the age thing.''

Stiles shrugs again. ''As I said, I'm not in a hurry.'' He bites his lip, drums his fingers on his knee. ''I thought you couldn't see me this way. At all.''

Derek looks at Stiles, his eyes, lips, neck, arms, forearms, fingers- ''That's – not a problem.''

''Not a problem?'' echoes Stiles stupidly, trying to stop himself from grinning.

Derek turns away, still tense. ''You don't understand – it's exactly because you are my-'' he grimaces, ''my 'first choice' that I haven't done anything. Stiles, I've never been in a normal relationship. Paige died. Kate killed my family. And Blake was-''

''Okay,'' says Stiles and for a second, catches Derek's open, vulnerable expression. ''Okay. I mean, I have no idea how this should go, too. We'll figure it out. You know,'' he pauses, finding Derek's gaze, ''like a demo mode?''

Derek sighs, closes his eyes, then nods. ''And best and worst case scenarios.''

''Soulmates too, but nevermind that.''

Derek smiles. It's nowhere near the beam he had when under the influence of magic, but even if his expression is small, it's unbearably earnest. ''I do think that your presence changed my life a lot.''

Stiles flushes pink. ''Yeah, you- you've definitely given direction to mine.''

The smile grows.

Stiles finds hope within himself.

 

 


End file.
